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JOKE OF THE DAY

I bought a dog off a blacksmith.  As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door!

 

A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.
Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”
The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.” 



Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?"

His friend answered, "Sixteen.... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer."

How many grams of protein are an apple pi?

3.14159265



Guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for helicopter flavored chips.

Bartender says, "Sir, we only serve plane chips"


Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day.

Teach a man to fish and he's going to spend a fortune on gear he'll only be using twice a year!


Teacher: "Who do you think invented dancing, children?

Little Johnny: "My guess is a big Irish Family with only one bathroom!"


A battery and a firework were arrested.  They charged one, and let the other one off.


Son: "Mom, can I get $20?"

Mon: "does it look like I am made of money?

Son: " Well, isn't that what M.O.M. stands for?"



You have 10 dollars in your pocket and you lose 5.  What do you have in your pocket?

A hole!

What did one penny say to the other penny?

"Let's get together and make some cents!"


Doctor: Your test results you'll easily live to be 80.

Patient: But, wait, I am 80 just now.

Doctor: See, I told you to live healthier!



Waiter, I am outraged.  There is one hair in my soup.

Well, what do you expect for this price, a whole wig?!


One company owner asks another: "Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?"

Bill: "Easy.  30 employees and 20 parking spaces."


My brother & I tried out for a pro baseball team but we had sinus problems.

No team would sign us.

I got another letter from this lawyer today.  It said "Final Notice".  Good that he will not bother me anymore.


At an interview: "In the beginning, you'll be earning $20,000, later on it can go up to $40,000."

"OK! I'll come again later then."


Why do gas station managers keep their restrooms locked?

Because they are afraid someone might sneak in and clean them!



"Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?" asks the doctor.

"Yes, just like you said, doc."

"And is the bronchitis gone now?"

"Not yet, so far the only things gone are my laptop and cellphone."

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

You stick with me and I will take you places!


I did a self-defense course.  I wouldn't recommend anyone to attack me in slow motion now.


Why do people never eat clocks?

Because it's really time consuming.



Pessimist: "Things just can't get any worse!"

Optimist: "Nah, of course they can!"



 Do you know what makes me smile?  My facial muscles.



An Eskimo brings his friend home for a visit.  When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled -  "So, where's your igloo?"

The friend replies "Oh no!  I must have left the iron on..."



My mom loves gardening.  She was so excited that spring finally arrived, she wet her plants.


 Monday – Friday     6am-10am

"Wake Up With the Giant” with Rosco and Michelle. Rosco has been the voice and friend to generations of Miss-Lou listeners for over 30 years and Michelle has worked in recording studios, television and radio for over 20 years.  

The duo delivers a show that is full of information, news, weather, birthdays, the first joke of the day and a “Must Do’s” list of community activities, local interviews and the absolute best country music.  If it’s happening anywhere in the Miss-Lou, you’ll hear about it on 95 Country’s “Wake Up With the Giant" show with Rosco and Michelle.

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Sturgill Simpson Announces New Album and Anime Film [VIDEO]

MON JUL 22, 2019 | ABOUT 4 HOURS AGO | POSTED IN: COUNTRY CELEBRITY NEWS | SOURCE

 

Sturgill Simpson appeared at San Diego Comic-Con to share the first trailer for Sound & Fury, the anime film he worked on with Takashi Okazaki and Junpei Mizusaki, and announce a new album of the same name.

The album, his first full-length since 2016's A Sailor's Guide to Earth, is a companion piece to the film. Each song will accompany a different segment of the movie. Both projects will be released this fall --the album via Elektra Records and the film on Netflix.

"We went in without any preconceived notions and came out with a really sleazy, steamy rock n roll record," Simpson said in a press release. "It’s definitely my most psychedelic. And also my heaviest. I had this idea that it’d be really cool to animate some of these songs, and we ended up with a futuristic, dystopian, post-apocalyptic, samurai film."

Check out the trailer for Sound & Fury below.


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